You’ve been there haven’t you?
After a long day of work, you come home to find toys scattered across the floor, homework half-finished, and your child lost in their own world.
You ask again, “Did you clean up your room?” and you’re met with silence or a half-hearted response.
The day’s stress can sometimes lead to frustration, and before you know it, you’re pointing out everything that didn’t go as planned.
As parents, we all deeply love our children, but there are times when the demands of daily life can make it feel like we’re constantly correcting rather than connecting.
And it’s completely understandable. The pressure to raise happy, healthy, and well-behaved children is immense.
Every parent has felt that way – that nagging voice in the back of your mind that wonders if you’re doing enough, if you’re getting it right.
You’re juggling so much. Work, household responsibilities, and the endless to-do lists that never seem to get any shorter.
On top of that, you want to give your child the best of everything – a strong education, good values, and a loving home.
It’s exhausting, and sometimes, it’s overwhelming.
And then comes bedtime. The house is quiet, and you peek into their room. There they are, asleep, looking so small and peaceful.
In that quiet moment, you might find yourself reflecting on how quickly time is passing, how much they’ve grown, and how important it is to nurture the bond you share.
It’s easy for the pressures of life to lead us into patterns where we focus on what needs to be fixed, rather than what’s going well.
But sometimes, those moments of reflection remind us that our children are still learning and growing.
They need our guidance, yes, but they also need our patience, understanding, and unconditional love.
And we know it’s not easy. It’s not easy to balance everything and still find the time to be the calm, patient parent you want to be.
It’s okay to feel tired. It’s okay to feel frustrated. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and there’s no perfect way to do it.
Dale Carnegie beautifully captures this struggle in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People. He shares a story called “Father Forgets,” where a parent realizes that in trying to help his son grow, he had been too harsh.
He scolded his son for small things—spilled milk, untidy clothes—and only later, as he watched his son sleep, did he realize the impact of his words.
This is how it goes:
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Listen Son, I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little hand crumpled under your cheek and blonde curls sticky over your wet forehead. I have broken into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guilty, I came to your bedside.
There are things which I am thinking, son; I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face a mere dab with the towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. As you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!".
Then it began all over again late this afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your socks. I humiliated you before your friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. “Socks were expensive, and if you had to buy them you would be more careful!” Imagine that son, from a father.
Do you remember later, when I was reading in the library, how you came timidly, with sort of a hurt look in your eyes? I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption; you hesitated at the door. "What is it that you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, your small arms tightened with affection that God had set blooming in your heart, which even neglect could not wither. Then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, Son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, or reprimanding; this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you: it was that I expected too much of you. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
There is so much that was good, fine and true in your character. The little heart of yours was as big as the dawn itself over the hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else mattered tonight. Son, I have come to your beside in the darkness, I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know that you would not understand these things which I have told you in the waking hours. Tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, suffer when you suffer and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy--a little boy."
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, Son, crumpled and weary in your bed. I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much!
Instead of condemning and criticizing others, perhaps we it would be better to try to understand them, to try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness, rather than contempt...!!!
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This story is a powerful reminder that our children aren’t little adults.
They’re still learning, still growing. And they need our love and patience more than our corrections.
The father in the story vowed to change – to focus on understanding, to see his son as the child he was, not the adult he expected him to be.
So here’s the challenge: What if you tried that too? What if tomorrow, instead of focusing on what’s wrong, you took a moment to appreciate what’s right?
When your child spills their drink, smile and say, “it happens”, instead of rushing to clean it up.
When they make a mistake, use it as a chance to teach, not to criticise.
You don’t have to be perfect, but by being more mindful, more present, you can create moments that build up your child instead of tearing them down.
And in the end, those are the moments they’ll remember – the ones where they felt loved, just as they are.
Reading Carnegie’s story might have made you think about your own parenting moments.
It’s natural to want the best for your child – to guide them, support them, and help them grow into confident, happy individuals.
But parenting isn’t just about correcting mistakes, it’s also about providing the right environment where your child can thrive.
At Centenary Childcare Centre, we understand the importance of creating a nurturing space designed to encourage positive growth, both emotionally and academically.
Whether you’re looking for quality high childcare or a preschool program that prepares your child for the future, our experienced educators are here to partner with you.
Located conveniently near Mount Ommaney, Jindalee, and Middle Park, Centenary offers a range of programs tailored to meet the unique needs of your child.
You can explore our programs using this link:
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